Happiness is something you decide in advance...

Happiness is something you decide in advance... It is not how your life is arranged that makes you happy, it is how you arrange your mind...

Some years after my wife left me, after I had applied all of the "tried and true" methods for dating success; buying the right car, shoes, clothes, watch,  the Harley, after hanging out at all the "Cool" places, with all the "Cool" people, being seen at the "scene," after hours in the gym getting into shape, bleaching my teeth, getting the expensive haircut, cultivating the perfect goatee.... After all that truly wasted effort, I decided one simple thing; that I was going to have a GREAT life, whether or not I ever had a relationship again...

It sounds so simple, too simple to be true, but the moment I decided to BE happy in spite of what happened and stopped allowing my happiness to be held hostage by external events, my existence became happy. I became FREE!

In an earlier life I used to say, "If I don't become a world class, successful musician I will never be truly happpy." Today, I am content to play myself in tune... Women say, "If I don't have children I will never be fulfilled," and "If I don't find Mr.Right, I'll never be happy."  Men say, "How can I feel like the 'man' if my wife makes more money than me?" They all say, "Same shit, different day." "Life sucks and then you die!"

What do all these have in common? They all come from the perspective that happiness/enjoyment/peace/success rely on something happening "out there," and that we can only be happy if external events turn out in a very narrowly defined way. Some people have such a laundry list, such a litany of things that need to "go right" for them to achieve happiness, that they have made happiness mathematically impossible.

What can be done? A shift in thinking. Happy people live with a certain set of attitudes, not with a certain set of outcomes. By simply adopting the attitude that YOU are going to have a great life, come what may, outcomes lose all of their power over you. That's it, THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS...

Today, decide to laugh. Love the people that show up. Give your best. BE in the moment. Offer assistance. Join with others. Share...

Duffy