Go against the grain of what you are used to doing...

If your life isn't going where you want and you desire change, change your thinking. Go against the grain of what you are used to doing.

How long are you going to try to fit the square peg of others' expectations into the round hole of your life? How's that been working for you?

The vast majority of people have never had an original thought, or an original idea. Their presumption of how their life should be, is actually a collection of the attitudes of all the people they knew growing up. They have been programmed. They have been conditioned.

When you say you are not happy, it is extremely likely that your thinking, and your beliefs about how things SHOULD be, do not fit actual circumstances. It is those beliefs and conditioned responses that are keeping you from happiness... Read that again please: YOUR beliefs and conditioned responses are keeping you from happiness...

It is YOU I am referring to here. Although this would be much easier to swallow if I allowed you to think it was someone else, it is you, about whom I am writing...  Think about this: When you make a statement, who is making the statement? Is it your Mother, your Grandfather...your Pastor? How many of your expressions, attitudes, and beliefs are YOURS? Or, are they simply a collective composite of your previous experiences? Is there any part of you that is authentically you?

When you stand for something, it is someone else that is expressing it, someone who conditioned you? Not only is it likely someone else's ideas/rules/beliefs you are standing up for, but it is likely you are or were very fond of that person who is expressing through you. Admitting that you are wrong, or even that your beliefs need some fine tuning, means admitting that people you admired/loved in life, were wrong too. This is not an easy task. But when you realize that THEY were simply collective composites also, it becomes a little easier to see that you are simply the latest in a long line of programmed programmers, and that you show no disrespect to them by deciding to decide for YOURSELF.

To add to the problem, most people would actually prefer to be led versus to lead, would prefer to parrot back what they just heard versus thinking for themselves, and prefer surrendering the benefits of their own experience, allowing some external entity to choose their beliefs. Look at religion. Deepak Chopra once quipped, "God gave man the truth." The Devil brightened up and responded, "Good, let's organize it. We'll call it religion!"  Ba-DOOM!

Most people, actually do prefer to abdicate their own experience with God to some group or church (a group or church that may have ulterior motives for what they profess to you as "truths"). How dangerous is this, entrusting your spirituality elsewhere? All you have to do is look at the current effect of religion on the world, and how twisted religious fundamentalism is threatening everyone else. So why do people do this? Because it is easier. Experiencing God personally requires deciding where you stand on lots of issues. It requires lots of effort. It is just easier to allow someone else to do it for you. The same is true for day to day attitudes. It is simply easier to repeat something you've heard than to examine it for yourself and draw your own original conclusion.

What is the solution? You must begin to observe yourself. Ask yourself, "Who is saying this?" when you speak. Who is the "I" behind whatever reaction you're having? Is it YOU, or are you simply following a conditioned response? WHO is making judgements, approving or condemning? The first step is observing the YOU behind the thinking, the attitudes, and the shoulds. When you observe the thinker, the reactor, the should-er, you will realize it is your programming and your conditioning that is being expressed, and not your true self. Simply by observing them, the shoulds will begin to dissolve. Knowing is the first step...

Today, wherever you are, watch yourself interact with the world. Watch how and what you say, how you react. Know that the route to happiness is in un-programming yourself and re-connecting to the real YOU. Observing yourself will allow you to change your thinking, and begin to BE free of the "programmers" of your past...

Duffy