Seek to understand instead of being understood...

Seek to understand instead of being understood. Winning an argument is not as important as winning a heart...

Recently, I was asked in a Spiritual meeting, how to go about handling a contentious conversation, where one is being asked to do something unreasonable in a relationship. I answered, that as long as your Ego has you believing you are separate from the other, you will view things as win/lose from your perspective. I suggested coming from a place of ONEness, where the soul of one IS the soul of both, where no outcome that doesn't serve the best interest of both can be considered. Further I offered, "Seek first to understand, not be understood."

This advice runs counter to what we are indoctrinated to believe in our culture. Religion sells us redemption for good behavior or tithing. In the package come commandments, not the least of which is a moratorium on killing. I say moratorium, because the minute the entity is threatened, within which the religion has been allowed to prosper, the moratorium is lifted, and killing the perceived enemy is blessed. Every army in history has gone to war with God on their side...

Young men are taught, "Big boys don't cry." They are taught to offer their bodies for the good of the team in high school football. They are groomed as cannon fodder from birth. Pacifists are ostracized. We are taught to fight, fight, FIGHT!

Your Ego needs to be special. It will participate in ANY activity that garners "special" accolades. It sees itself as separate, and separate needs to be better as far as the Ego is concerned. It will align itself with any group whose membership raises its status. It will fight, kill and even die for this special status, and do anything including commit horrendous atrocities as long as it can maintain membership. Countries are run by the wealthiest citizens. They own and control the greatest accumulation of assets. So when countries decide to go to war, they say it is in "OUR" vital interests, but in reality it is in the interests of the controlling wealthy. But YOU desparately want to be a "member in good standing," so you agree to become cannon fodder.

In reality you were/are never alone. We are all ONE. We are all pieces of the universe. God is all things, and that means you are God. And so is the person with whom you are arguing. So are the people with whom your country is arguing.

We need to BEgin to reframe the debate. It must BEcome a conversation of deserving equals at ALL times. The central tenet must BEcome knowing WE are all ONE. You can't agrue with yourself. And shutting down your Ego shuts down the indoctrination. Ending the delusion that you are in any way separate from others and/or from God, ends your abitilty to: argue, fight or kill...

Today, notice whenever you feel superior to another. This is a clear sign that your Ego has separated you from them. It is a delusion. Instead imagine you are ONE and coming from the same place. Seek to understand instead of being understood...

Duffy