When I was twelve years old I was what they'd call a really "Holy" kid. I got up everyday and walked over a mile to church for 5 o'clock mass, and back home to get ready for school. For those of you who have never had the good fortune to live in New England, the weather can be mighty unfriendly at 4 AM, but I had made a duty to myself to commit to God. At that time I was a candidate for the St. Michael's Medal (we belonged to the parish of St. Michael's). People were awarded the medal based on their committment to their faith. I was committed...
One of the trials of medal candidates was we had to go to confession (one of the seven sacraments) in person, not in the usual confessional. There was no darkness, no anonimity, no privacy of any kind, which was normally experienced when one bared their soul during confession. I actually felt no squeamishness, it seemed fine for me to be confessing to someone who was "standing in for God." I went through a short litany of some of the things I had done. When I informed the priest that I had "touched myself impurely," which was code for masterbation, the priest said to me, "Well if you continue with that you're going to go to HELL!" My first reaction was shock, then dismay, but incredulity rose up like a wave and washed them aside. I felt as if I could see clearly for the first time. I blurted out, "No I'm not. I'm a good kid," and I got up and left, not even allowing him to respond or finish. I never went back to church again. Yeah, I went into the building, for my parents needed people to see that their children went to church, but my heart never went again...
On some level I discovered my sprirtual self on that day. It took me years to overcome the fear of HELL, but little by little that poison seed that had been planted in me, before I was old enough to know my own mind, was also overcome.
There is no "God's judgment," or "Judgment Day." That stuff is brain-washing pure and simple, designed to make us fearful, to keep us in line. By placing themselves in the position as God's sole liaison, church officials make themselves powerful, for they and only they, get to dole out God's grace, for good behavior, tithing or whatever happens to be currently necessary for their security. The unbelievable masacring of the Native American peoples was all done with the blessing of countless protestant ministers. The attrocities against the jews by the Nazis were "overlooked" by the Pope, in agreement that he would have sole contact with the German people during the war. Every military post has its resident selection of "holy men" to bless the troops and lift the moratorium on killing. Can you imagine how long a church would stay in favor if they refused to bless the killing? No, God does not judge, the judgement of what is right and what is wrong is the world of men. What was wrong yesterday is not today and vice-versa...
Today, BEgin to think of God as the whole Universe, everything, every cell, every molecule, ALL things, big and small. BEgin to see that God experiences God-self through each and every animal, plant, and planet. God gets to experience Consciousness through you, and you get to experience God through your BEing. This is what Jesus told us, that "The Kingdom of God is in you." God's grace is not doled out for good behavior, it is everywhere, at all times, yours for the taking...
Duffy
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