A working apology is not an opportunity to restate the original injury...

A working apology is not an opportunity to restate the original injury, nor is it a free "get out of jail card..."

What is an apology? For starters, it is a social convention. It is a kind of grease that allows us to slide past rough spots. It is device of function for both sides. The apologizer is excused for his/her trespass, and the apologizee receives a compensation of sorts for the said trespass. Therefore, it is in the interest of both parties and for society, that this act to be carried out with grace and sincerity.

In today's society, where courtesy and grace seem to be lost arts, "the apology" is taking a beating. Often on display is an outright refusal to apologize, executed by the machismo crowd. Their creed is never apologize, for that would show caring and bring you to the level of the injured. We couldn't have that! We also have developed many pseudo-apologies. An example is the I can't be bothered apology, "Oh all right, I'm sorry, now stop whining. Geesh!" Another common apology today is the non-apology apology, where the apologizer says, "To any of those who MIGHT have been offended I apologize." In other words, I am not sorry for being offensive, but I need to get off the hook (of scrutiny) so I can go back to being offensive.

What is this all about? Are we all too big to be at fault these days? The reason for the social convention was originally developed because eveyone realized that at some time or other THEY would be the one hurt, and by accepting an apology, they would be paying forward for the acceptance they would receive when they were THEY were the perpetrator. What a nice solution!

Today though, we are all Ego-driven one-man teams, too important, too high and mighty to even recognize the collateral damage of our actions nevermind feel bad enough to seek atonement. Afterall, offering an apology might open one up to litigation, and one might have to make reparations, pay damages! Reparations are for LOSERS! Why do you think it is called paying damages? Because these are damages you have caused! Corporations and the wealthy, hire whole lawfirms to create labyrinths of ways to injure without responsibility. Shame on them...

The truth is, when you hurt someone emotionally, caused loss of income, ended a life, poisoned an environment, crippled a child through an injury or a carcinogen, or have otherwise polluted the functioning beauty of someone's life, you have a responsibility to apologize to them, even when doing so acknowledges a debt.

Today, BE careful. When you do offend, don't let your Ego rule. Apologize. A sincere apology from the heart affirms that the offended one is of value. And, when you receive a heartfelt apology, accept it graciously, for a working apology is not an opportunity to restate the original injury...

Duffy

Broken trust is the abandoned home of love...

An abandoned home advertises, "Nobody loves here anymore." Broken trust is the abandoned home of love...

Treachery attacks the most vulnerable place, the place of trust. When someone trusts us, they are giving us the secret code of their BEing. More than that they are expressing their view of life. They are showing their belief in a loving GOD, a benevalent Universe, and that they live in LOVE and not FEAR.

When we, through malevalence, selfishness or neglect, perform an act of treachery, it brings our level of Consciousness down to zero, a level of non-Consciousness. We must actually climb up through the swamp of the lowest levels in order to reach any postive level of Conciousness again.

Shame (20) Perilously close to death. Suicide is often an escape from this. We wish we were invisible. This level is physically and emotionally destructive, and makes us prone to physical illness.

Guilt (30) Just above Shame. Remorse, recrimination, masochism and victimhood. Self-mutilation (physical and emotional), as well as rage and even killing are frequent expressions.

Apathy (50) Characterized by despair and hoplessness. The world and the future look bleak. It is not simply the lack of resources, but the lack of energy to avail ourselves of life.

Grief (75) Sadness, loss and dependency live here. Regret, depression and a constant remorse about the past are constant. This level colors one's entire level of existence.

Fear (100) From this vantage point the world looks to be full of traps and threats. Fear limits growth of the personality and leads to inhibition, because it takes energy to rise above fear. The fearful person cannot attain higher levels of Consciousness unaided.

Anger (150) As people move up from Apathy and Grief they begin to want. Buddha said desire is the source of all suffering. Frustrated wanting leads to Anger. Anger expresses itself most often as resentment and revenge. Anger leads easily to hatred and has an erosion effect on all areas of a persons life. (For a comprehensive description of levels of Consciousness, read, "Power Vs. Force" by Dr. David R. Hawkins).

Treachery is the vilest of acts, because it grabs the person who trusted, and violently throws them down into the cesspool of the lowest levels of Consciousness. It forces them to experience all of the horrors that reside there, horrors that they may have worked very hard to rise above. When you break someone's trust, you suck the LOVE out of their existence and replace it with FEAR. And not only that, you inflict the same journey on yourself. Finally, anyone merely observing the act of treachery is knocked from their "level" as they experience anger, and cynicism...

Today, look at your actions, your plans, and your rationalizations, and acknowledge how your selfishness is an attack on the trust of others, an attack on their most vulnerable places, and know that you are undermining their LOVE and their lives. You are destroying the home in which they live. Broken trust is the abandoned home of love...

Duffy

Make your "go-to" expression a big welcoming smile...

Everyone loves to be around happy people. Make your "go-to" expression a big welcoming smile...

What attracts us to smiles? Smiles are ACCEPTING. A smile advertises that we are accepted as ourselves. There is no threat, no menace, no doom...no reason for FEAR. This feels good (God). Naturally we smile back, giving the same gift of acceptance. When we are accepted we can let down our defenses, and put all of that energy into the task at hand, even if the task at hand is simply enjoying oneself!

We are attracted to people who smile first. It shows courage. Have you ever smiled at someone who didn't smile back? It saps some of your energy to fight off the FEAR that the non-smiler might present some danger. That's what makes "go-to" smilers so attractive. They have risen above FEAR. They are unabashedly putting it out there. They are expressing to all, that they will not be subject to fear, and neither should you.

There is another reason why we are attracted to a smile. A smile indicates that the smiler is experienceing JOY. Joy is a very high state of Concsiouness. LOVE is the state of Consciousness, where the person has risen beyond pure reason, allowing their existence to BE, "your head and all of your other talents and abilities live in service to your heart" (Pavlina). JOY is the level above LOVE. JOY is, "A state of pervasive, unshakable happiness" (Tolle). This is the level of advanced spiritual teachers/leaders. It is the level of Saints. "Just being around people at this level makes you feel incredible. At this level life is fully guided by synchronicity and intuition" (Pavlina). There is no need for goal-setting at this advanced level. Your Consciousness has BEcome so expanded that all of your thoughts and actions are in synch with the Universe. Planning is unneccesary, BEcause an unshakable knowing that everything will BE all right, is your state of BEing. For more detail on this subject, I suggest you read, "Power vs Force" by Dr. David R. Hawkins.

So when someone smiles at us we are welcomed, possibly into the presence of a transcendent person. A person at the high level of JOY can counterbalnce millions of people who exist in the negative levels of Consciousness: shame, guilt, apathy, grief, craving, and anger. We all know at some level that these people exist, even if we might not be Conscious of this fact. Simply BEing around one of these people raises YOUR level of Consciousness!

Today, when you see someone smile recognize, BEcome Conscious, of the effect the smile has. Open your heart to the possibility of JOY. You may not have reached that level permanently, but you can feel it temporarily. Make your "go-to" expression a big welcoming smile...!!! :)

Duffy

God experiences Consciousness through you...

God experiences Consciousness through you. How Conscious have you been?

God/Universe experiences through manifested creation. It is one thing for God/Universe to know itself as all things, but knowing is not experiencing. Knowing is not feeling, tasting, or savoring... Experiencing is tricky though. You can't for instance, experience dark unless you are light, and vice versa. This is just the way of things: hot/cold, organic/inorganic, ancient/new, as well as unconscious/conscious. You can't experience being one thing, if everything is also that one thing. There is a wonderful children's book called, "The Candle in the Sun," by Neale Donald Walsch, that explains that of course the candle can't see itself as bright, when it is up against the sun. It needs darkness to see itself for what it truly is. Now, it is relatively easy to juxtapose dark next to light, or organic next to inorganic, however Consciousness presents a slightly more complex set of challenges.

Consciousness is knowing. It is also experiencing, but it's the knowing that makes it difficult to juxtapose. God/Universe can't experience Godself while knowing it is Godself.  Also, God/Universe is ALL things, and it is difficult to experience Godself because there isn't anything that isn't Godself to juxtapose. And we know that to EXPERIENCE Godself, it must not know it is Godself, a dilemna for sure.

The solution to this is tiny pieces of Godself take on the Earthly form of humans, forgetting that they are Godself. They are conscious, and are able to fully experience God/Universe, because they can't remember before they arrived and so are temporarily un-knowing that they are God/Universe. They are aware of themselves and each other, but believe they are separate from God/Universe and each other. So, because you are un-knowing, God/Universe experiences Godself through YOU!

Our journey here as humans is to decide and express who we truly are.  Most people, it is estimated at 85%+, live their entire lives in the negative levels of Consciousness: Apathy, Shame, Guilt, FEAR, Craving, Anger, Pride and Jealousy. They never reach the exalted states: Joy, LOVE and Enlightenment. They might briefly touch Courage, Neutrality, Willingness, Acceptance or Reason, but slide right back to the negative states as soon as they experience FEAR. Sometimes by doing a drug, a human may experience unconditional LOVE for the first time in his/her life. It is such an unbelievably joyous state, that they mistake the drug for the experience. They keep taking the drug over and over to try and recapture that moment. Instead they fall into Craving, a negative state and waste their lives. The Joyous state was theirs for the asking all the time. All they had to do was walk the path of enlightenment, upward through the levels of Consciousness...

Since God/Universe experiences Consciousness through you, what kind of experience are you offering? Are you offering Fear, selfishness, hoarding, separateness, manipulation and Ego judgment, or are you offering LOVE? For instance, when someone asks,"Do you want to become some Socialist country and have to wait in line all day to see a doctor?" Most respond, "No way!" Now imagine for a moment how God/Universe would respond. "You mean, all I have to do is wait in line for EVERYBODY to be able to receive care? Nobody who is sick will be turned away if I simply wait a little bit?"

Today, monitor your thoughts. Everytime you judge, or have a negative thought about someone or something, you are offering that experience to God/Universe. You are limiting God/Universe's experiences to the negative levels of Consciousness. YOU can do SO much better, for God experiences Consciousness through you...

Duffy

Abundance will not be achieved through the contemplation of scarcity...

Abundance is a personal perspective. Abundance will not be achieved through the contemplation of scarcity...

I remember an event I experienced when I was young and in my first real grown up relationship. We were invited to the home of one of my married co-worker's for some drinks and dinner. When we arrived we were greeted warmly. When asked what we would like to drink, my girl and I both said, "A beer will be fine." When the wife of my friend returned to the living room, she was visibly angry. Turning towards my co-worker, her husband, she launched into blaming their roommate for drinking their beer and ruining her dinner party. My co-worker went and looked into the fridge and came out smiling. He said with a huge grin, "At least we have one!"

That comment struck me like a thunderbolt, and has stayed with me for almost four decades. I had never previously heard anyone respond to calamity with such grace. My friend passed away not long afterward, but his wonderful, loving spirit lives on. His perspective changed me, and so he lives on in me.

Abundance is nothing more than a judgment. There are billionaires that can't get enough, and there are people who give there last buck to a homeless person. What is the difference? The billionaire lives in a world of scarcity while the almost broke philanthropist resides in a world of abundance.

We are not simply talking about money either. There are those that think that there is a limit to kind words, that somehow acknowledging a job well done, talent, good looks, or some other positive quality, takes something away from them. They believe when someone expresses love, it means the love must be taken from somewhere else, as if there isn't enough to go around. There is...

What is ironic about this is nobody enjoys being around someone selfish. Think of the words we use to describe them and their manner: selfish, avaricious, greedy, tight-fisted, money-grubbing, envious, parsimonious, penny-pinching, tightwad, skinflint... Do any of those sound pleasant? Then why do so many people fail and fall into such a state?

FEAR.

Their Ego has convinced them they are separate, separate from God and separate from each other. One who is separate is alone, and must fend for himself. They see competition as the only route to success. They live in a world where there is never enough, and so they must accumulate and hoard, which gives them a false sense of security. Generosity is seen as a threat to this imagined security.

The truth is there is enough for ALL. WE are all ONE. God is all things. And if God is all things, then everything is God. YOU are not separate from God or each other. How could you be if God is all things? Every part of God works together harmoniously, in cooperation, as the cosmic wheel turns. We are the species on Earth where Consciousness is experienced by God. Unfortunately, we have through our Ego, been holding up the evolution of Consciousness. Our selfishness has been blocking the Universe (God) from experiencing the next level. There have been many spiritual leaders: Buddha, Krishna, Jesus, Lao Tzu and Mohammed among others, that have come and shown us the way, however, other men have abducted their words, and twisted them for personal gain. They have used FEAR as the "stick" and good behavior as the "carrot."

However, the Earth is a "Garden," and there is plenty for all. We simply have to make the shift in Consciousness and recognize that we are ALL ONE, and act accordingly, which is unselfishly, because we have nothing to FEAR. This will happen. It is inevitable that we BEgin to see who we really are. Simply allow and accept that all will be fine and normal. There IS ENOUGH...

Today, break out of your fear. Give something away. Start small. Give a compliment. Notice someone for out-performing you. Stop putting limits on how much love you show and how much can be shown to others. Abundance is a personal perspective. Abundance will not be achieved through the contemplation of scarcity...

Duffy

Keep your mind free of divisions and distinctions...

Keep your mind free of divisions and distinctions. When your mind is detached, simple and still, you will exist in harmony with all things... Lao Tzu said as much...

We live in a culture that values success. When we succeed, we are rewarded, we are compensated. We are accorded self-esteem with all the things we can accumulate and show off. We get to brag (but only indirectly!). We are encouraged to compete, always, with everyone, as in "Only the strong survive!" We are judged by how much money we make. "He's done well for himself," or "She landed a fine catch." Is it any wonder we believe that money leads to happiness?

But what do we really get? We sacrifice our health chasing money, and then we sacrifice the money trying to recuperate our health (Dalai Lama). We worry about the future so much we sacrifice the present. We disassociate from long time friends in order to hide our past from our new (and successful) friends, for we must keep up appearances! We are attached to every outcome, so much so in fact, that many of us suffer heart attacks caused by trying to control everything (type A personality). We attempt to control everything in our environment to make sure WE are presented always in the best light. Can't let our weaknesses show, our success depends on it. In short, we become our own collateral damage.

When we're not chasing the almighty buck, we chase gratifications. We're afraid to be alone or unoccupied, because we haven't learned how. We NEED a distraction: calling, texting, talking, games, 24 hour news cycle, all night restaurants/supermarkets/casinos, 500 TV stations...the internet! If someone in an airport was sitting in quiet contemplation they would be reported as acting strangely!

This all encompassing need to compete and connect has us at odds with our environment. We are consumed with trying to change the outcome, shade the odds, twist arms, color, camouflage, conceal, hide and SELL. The truth is you can't pull the river, nor can you push it. All of this pressure we are trying to exert on outcomes hurts our health and wastes our lives.

In stillness, BEing is revealed. If you don't meditate BEgin. If you don't know how, learn. Sitting quietly, alone with yourself will show you your real existence, the one you have been busy running from. Ponder. Contemplate. Reflect. Focus on your breathing. Remove all thoughts from your mind. When you stop trying to wrestle with life you BEgin to experience harmony with it. You BEgin to see that all things are flowing naturally and harmoniously, and only YOU were preventing yourself from seeing this. When you stop trying to push the river, you BEgin to marvel at how smoothly everything is running without your struggle... and your struggle dissolves...

Today, when you see yourself angling for an advantage, when you notice yourself pushing, pulling, controlling and SELLING, recognize that it is these activities, these perspectives that are draining you of life and good health. Choose to stop and allow everything to go well without your desires. When your mind is detached, simple and still, you will exist in harmony with all things...

Duffy

God's grace is not doled out for good behavior...

God's grace is not doled out for good behavior, it is everywhere, at all times, yours for the taking...

When I was twelve years old I was what they'd call a really "Holy" kid. I got up everyday and walked over a mile to church for 5 o'clock mass, and back home to get ready for school. For those of you who have never had the good fortune to live in New England, the weather can be mighty unfriendly at 4 AM, but I had made a duty to myself to commit to God. At that time I was a candidate for the St. Michael's Medal (we belonged to the parish of St. Michael's). People were awarded the medal based on their committment to their faith. I was committed...

One of the trials of medal candidates was we had to go to confession (one of the seven sacraments) in person, not in the usual confessional. There was no darkness, no anonimity, no privacy of any kind, which was normally experienced when one bared their soul during confession. I actually felt no squeamishness, it seemed fine for me to be confessing to someone who was "standing in for God." I went through a short litany of some of the things I had done. When I informed the priest that I had "touched myself impurely," which was code for masterbation, the priest said to me, "Well if you continue with that you're going to go to HELL!" My first reaction was shock, then dismay, but incredulity rose up like a wave and washed them aside. I felt as if I could see clearly for the first time. I blurted out, "No I'm not. I'm a good kid," and I got up and left, not even allowing him to respond or finish. I never went back to church again. Yeah, I went into the building, for my parents needed people to see that their children went to church, but my heart never went again...

On some level I discovered my sprirtual self on that day. It took me years to overcome the fear of HELL, but little by little that poison seed that had been planted in me, before I was old enough to know my own mind, was also overcome.

There is no "God's judgment," or "Judgment Day." That stuff is brain-washing pure and simple, designed to make us fearful, to keep us in line. By placing themselves in the position as God's sole liaison, church officials make themselves powerful, for they and only they, get to dole out God's grace, for good behavior, tithing or whatever happens to be currently necessary for their security. The unbelievable masacring of the Native American peoples was all done with the blessing of countless protestant ministers. The attrocities against the jews by the Nazis were "overlooked" by the Pope, in agreement that he would have sole contact with the German people during the war. Every military post has its resident selection of "holy men" to bless the troops and lift the moratorium on killing. Can you imagine how long a church would stay in favor if they refused to bless the killing? No, God does not judge, the judgement of what is right and what is wrong is the world of men. What was wrong yesterday is not today and vice-versa...

Today, BEgin to think of God as the whole Universe, everything, every cell, every molecule, ALL things, big and small. BEgin to see that God experiences God-self through each and every animal, plant, and planet. God gets to experience Consciousness through you, and you get to experience God through your BEing. This is what Jesus told us, that "The Kingdom of God is in you." God's grace is not doled out for good behavior, it is everywhere, at all times, yours for the taking...

Duffy