Are you playing yourself in tune? ----Originally published 10/6/11

You may be living the blues, or any other songs in the key of life, but are you playing yourself in tune?

When I was a young man I wanted to be the greatest guitar player that ever lived. I was inspired. I worked and worked, practiced and practiced. I became a damn good guitar player, however, somewhere along the way, my aspirations changed. I decided that what was really important was for me to be the best musician I could be. Later, after going a long way towards accomplishing that, I realized that what was really important, paramount, was always playing myself in tune...

This could be a metaphor for life, and indeed follows the journey of many people. When we are young and first experiencing the power of our adult selves and the possibilities available to us, we are often inspired to greatness by people who move us, who engage our souls with the level of expertise they exhibit. Guitar player Duane Allman was my insiration. I had been playing guitar for about four years before I heard him, mostly playing accoustic guitar, three chord stuff with an E minor or an A minor thrown in occassionally... small blast. But the first time heard Duane play, something happened to me inside, I was changed forever! I HAD to learn to do that, to be able to make that sound. Years later, when I could "wail" on most Allman Brothers' songs, I realized that there had already been one Duane Allman, and the local wedding band didn't need someone to play "Whipping Post" note for note. They needed an all-around good musician, someone capable of playing "Wave" during dinner, playing the favorite song of the new couple, along with "the bride cuts the cake," the "Hokie Pokie," and still have the chops to rev it up a la Chuck Berry, when everyone let their hair down... Wedding bands wanted well rounded musicians, players who could read charts, maybe write charts and be able to learn on the fly, to improvise and sometimes even fake whatever was needed. I decided to be the best musician I could be...

After many years of gigging night in and night out, every weekend, every New Year's, and after talking to countless people from the audience, I realized that the musicians were no more special than anyone else. EVERYBODY in the audience was applying themselves to something that moved them, something that inspired them. People would contantly say, "Oh, you're SO talented!" but that was simply their culture speaking through them. We happen to live during a period where people value music as a source of inspiration, but I was no better than the person volunteering at a homeless shelter, making a living as a plumber, or raising a child with special needs. Through these people, I started to realize that playing oneself in tune, no matter what was one's inspiration or chosen field, was what was important.

LOVE, kindness, compassion, humility, empathy...now we're talking. I learned that playing myself in tune taught me how to live a life worth living, that through finding opportunities to give others the experiences I longed for, I actually experienced them as well! I learned to BE of service, and how loving and close I feel to my fellow man when I'm doing so. I learned that everything I gave, came back to me many times over. I learned to BE grateful for simply living, and that bliss was available to me every moment if I could stop judging. Better than playing great guitar, huh?

Today, find your inspiration, or look at the one you have, and see how the inspiration, and not the act, can BE applied to your life and the lives of others. Play YOURSELF in tune, in a manner that lifts the spirits of all those surrounding you. Inspire them to BE their best selves, to play themselves in tune, and help them find a life worth living...

Duffy

Happiness and unhappiness are in fact one...

Happiness and unhappiness are in fact one. Only the illusion of time separates them... (Tolle)

WE create happiness. It is not caused by something "out there." WE also create unhappiness. It is not the result of anything "out there" either.

I can hear you groaning already, "I've heard all this 'New Age' stuff before, blah, blah, blah..." You are resistant to this, because you don't want it to be true. Why? Because if this is true then you are responsible for your unhappiness, and you don't want that. You want to be able to blame something outside of yourself. "All right," I hear you say, "how it it my responsibility?!"

It begins with YOUR judgment. When you experience a "form" you judge to be GOOD, whether it be an experience, a possession, a relationship, a place, an opinion, etc., your mind attaches itself to it, and identifies with it. What you judge as GOOD, makes you feel "happy," makes you feel good about yourself, and you make it part of yourself, and as how things are supposed to be. A young boy who finds himself very good at being the high school quarterback attaches that GOOD feeling about himself. It becomes his identity. When he is not able to continue being the object of attention later in life, when the identity disappears, he beomes unhappy. The situation (form) that once made him happy, now makes him unhappy.

When whatever form the mind has attached itself to and identified with changes, your mind cannot accept it. It resists this. It clings mightily to the form which provided so much happiness, and now experiences unhappiness. So indeed, happiness and unhappiness are in fact one. Only the illusion of time separates them... (Tolle)

Change is the fuel of growth. "All things must pass," as the late George Harrison said. If you cling to forms, and resist change, you will suffer. Unhappiness will be your companion. The sad part is you will blame the change as the cause of your unhappiness. In fact, it is your identification with a "form" that your mind/Ego has attached itself to that is the culprit. Once again, you don't want this to be true, and your Ego will fight you tooth and nail to maintain control. Your Ego/mind wants to frame the discussion in a way that removes YOU from any responsibility.

Today, BEgin to realize that it is YOUR judgements, that turn into attachments and identities, that are causing your happiness/unhappiness. Stop labelling things as good or bad. Nothing is intrinsically good or bad,  YOU are the cause of them being good or bad. BEgin to offer no resistance to life. This is the true state of "grace," a state where the condition of your BEing no longer relies on things being a certain way, good or bad...

Duffy

I must give credit to Eckhart Tolle for his infinte wisdom. If you would like a greater understanding of the principles in this post, read his "The Power of Now."

Leave a space for grace around your reactions...

Observe yourself in all of your interactions. Leave a space for grace around your reactions. Simply the knowing will dissolve your attachments...

Who you think you are is actually a composite of what your family thinks of you, what your friends think of you, your co-workers, what your career says about you, your income, your reputation, etc. None of these is actually you, and the composite isn't either. They are identities that you have adopted. This does not mean they are not powerful. If you live in a western society, you have been indoctrinated all of your life to see things from this perspective. Indeed, you have probably never been exposed to a different viewpoint!

There is a YOU behind your physical form. The spiritual BEing that is the real YOU happens to be currently manifested in your physical self, but it's a physical self you will someday leave behind. Look at a dead body and you can clearly see that the once spiritual SELF is no longer there.

What is the experience of identifying with your physical form? You think your thinking mind is you. Your memories and emotional attachments control your reality. Your Ego runs the show...

Because of this, most humans live in pain. At the level of thought you experience judgement. At the level of emotion you experience negativity. Together these color your present with pain. The intensity of your pain is directly associated with your resistance to actual reality. To avoid this pain you look to the future. You want to deny the present and escape from it.

This strategy is most apparent in romantic relationships. Resentment, self-pity, jealousy, depression, victimization, irritation, annoyance and anger are all forms of pain. As long as you are identified with your physical form, your mind, this pain is inevitable. We seek "highs" to escape it, alcohol, drugs, sex, extreme sports, and especially romantic love. The pleasure associated with these escapes become addicitions. However the high experienced through an addiction always turns to a low eventually.

Romantic love has no cultural negativity associated with it. Everyone wants it, in fact most people can't enjoy life if they don't have it. They seek it ceaselessly like they are dying for the thirst of it. However, if they are living an unconscious existence, identified with the physical self, they are bringing their pain and their need to escape the present with them into the relationship. For a time the other person "fulfills all of their desires." In actuality the other person is simply distracting them from their pain. This is when the couple is "in love."

Eventually the other person can no longer live up to your expectations and you begin to experience your pain again. This is when you say your beloved "has really changed." You can't accept that you are simply back in your pain, so your Ego needs to find fault outside of you. Since the person that was providing you with a distraction from your pain is now failing to do so, you experience hostility to them. You attact them emotionally, passively and/or aggressively. You withold affection. You withold encouragement. You blame them, belittle them, berate them. Sometimes this escalates to physical violence...

What to do? You must BEcome Conscious. You must BEgin to shed identities with your physical form. Meditation is the best way to get there, but BEgin with BEcoming the observer of yourself. Instead of reacting immediately to something that happens, try to find the gap between perception and reaction. Watch yourself reacting. Give yourself a little space around it. You may not be able initially to prevent a reaction, but the space will provide you with a knowing that you are having one. Simply the knowing is enough to dissolve it at least partially. Simply seeing yourself attached to the outcome, will be enough to lessen your pain and eventually, with enough practice, you may BE able to let it go entirely...

Today, BEgin to watch yourself as if you were a third person, because that is actually what you are unconsciously doing through your identification. Observe yourself reacting. Practice this. Notice even when something happens and catches you jumping right in before you can stop. Observe yourself in all of your interactions. Leave a "space for grace" around your reactions. Simply the knowing will dissolve your attachments...

Duffy