Are you playing yourself in tune? ----Originally published 10/6/11

You may be living the blues, or any other songs in the key of life, but are you playing yourself in tune?

When I was a young man I wanted to be the greatest guitar player that ever lived. I was inspired. I worked and worked, practiced and practiced. I became a damn good guitar player, however, somewhere along the way, my aspirations changed. I decided that what was really important was for me to be the best musician I could be. Later, after going a long way towards accomplishing that, I realized that what was really important, paramount, was always playing myself in tune...

This could be a metaphor for life, and indeed follows the journey of many people. When we are young and first experiencing the power of our adult selves and the possibilities available to us, we are often inspired to greatness by people who move us, who engage our souls with the level of expertise they exhibit. Guitar player Duane Allman was my insiration. I had been playing guitar for about four years before I heard him, mostly playing accoustic guitar, three chord stuff with an E minor or an A minor thrown in occassionally... small blast. But the first time heard Duane play, something happened to me inside, I was changed forever! I HAD to learn to do that, to be able to make that sound. Years later, when I could "wail" on most Allman Brothers' songs, I realized that there had already been one Duane Allman, and the local wedding band didn't need someone to play "Whipping Post" note for note. They needed an all-around good musician, someone capable of playing "Wave" during dinner, playing the favorite song of the new couple, along with "the bride cuts the cake," the "Hokie Pokie," and still have the chops to rev it up a la Chuck Berry, when everyone let their hair down... Wedding bands wanted well rounded musicians, players who could read charts, maybe write charts and be able to learn on the fly, to improvise and sometimes even fake whatever was needed. I decided to be the best musician I could be...

After many years of gigging night in and night out, every weekend, every New Year's, and after talking to countless people from the audience, I realized that the musicians were no more special than anyone else. EVERYBODY in the audience was applying themselves to something that moved them, something that inspired them. People would contantly say, "Oh, you're SO talented!" but that was simply their culture speaking through them. We happen to live during a period where people value music as a source of inspiration, but I was no better than the person volunteering at a homeless shelter, making a living as a plumber, or raising a child with special needs. Through these people, I started to realize that playing oneself in tune, no matter what was one's inspiration or chosen field, was what was important.

LOVE, kindness, compassion, humility, empathy...now we're talking. I learned that playing myself in tune taught me how to live a life worth living, that through finding opportunities to give others the experiences I longed for, I actually experienced them as well! I learned to BE of service, and how loving and close I feel to my fellow man when I'm doing so. I learned that everything I gave, came back to me many times over. I learned to BE grateful for simply living, and that bliss was available to me every moment if I could stop judging. Better than playing great guitar, huh?

Today, find your inspiration, or look at the one you have, and see how the inspiration, and not the act, can BE applied to your life and the lives of others. Play YOURSELF in tune, in a manner that lifts the spirits of all those surrounding you. Inspire them to BE their best selves, to play themselves in tune, and help them find a life worth living...

Duffy

Happiness and unhappiness are in fact one...

Happiness and unhappiness are in fact one. Only the illusion of time separates them... (Tolle)

WE create happiness. It is not caused by something "out there." WE also create unhappiness. It is not the result of anything "out there" either.

I can hear you groaning already, "I've heard all this 'New Age' stuff before, blah, blah, blah..." You are resistant to this, because you don't want it to be true. Why? Because if this is true then you are responsible for your unhappiness, and you don't want that. You want to be able to blame something outside of yourself. "All right," I hear you say, "how it it my responsibility?!"

It begins with YOUR judgment. When you experience a "form" you judge to be GOOD, whether it be an experience, a possession, a relationship, a place, an opinion, etc., your mind attaches itself to it, and identifies with it. What you judge as GOOD, makes you feel "happy," makes you feel good about yourself, and you make it part of yourself, and as how things are supposed to be. A young boy who finds himself very good at being the high school quarterback attaches that GOOD feeling about himself. It becomes his identity. When he is not able to continue being the object of attention later in life, when the identity disappears, he beomes unhappy. The situation (form) that once made him happy, now makes him unhappy.

When whatever form the mind has attached itself to and identified with changes, your mind cannot accept it. It resists this. It clings mightily to the form which provided so much happiness, and now experiences unhappiness. So indeed, happiness and unhappiness are in fact one. Only the illusion of time separates them... (Tolle)

Change is the fuel of growth. "All things must pass," as the late George Harrison said. If you cling to forms, and resist change, you will suffer. Unhappiness will be your companion. The sad part is you will blame the change as the cause of your unhappiness. In fact, it is your identification with a "form" that your mind/Ego has attached itself to that is the culprit. Once again, you don't want this to be true, and your Ego will fight you tooth and nail to maintain control. Your Ego/mind wants to frame the discussion in a way that removes YOU from any responsibility.

Today, BEgin to realize that it is YOUR judgements, that turn into attachments and identities, that are causing your happiness/unhappiness. Stop labelling things as good or bad. Nothing is intrinsically good or bad,  YOU are the cause of them being good or bad. BEgin to offer no resistance to life. This is the true state of "grace," a state where the condition of your BEing no longer relies on things being a certain way, good or bad...

Duffy

I must give credit to Eckhart Tolle for his infinte wisdom. If you would like a greater understanding of the principles in this post, read his "The Power of Now."

Leave a space for grace around your reactions...

Observe yourself in all of your interactions. Leave a space for grace around your reactions. Simply the knowing will dissolve your attachments...

Who you think you are is actually a composite of what your family thinks of you, what your friends think of you, your co-workers, what your career says about you, your income, your reputation, etc. None of these is actually you, and the composite isn't either. They are identities that you have adopted. This does not mean they are not powerful. If you live in a western society, you have been indoctrinated all of your life to see things from this perspective. Indeed, you have probably never been exposed to a different viewpoint!

There is a YOU behind your physical form. The spiritual BEing that is the real YOU happens to be currently manifested in your physical self, but it's a physical self you will someday leave behind. Look at a dead body and you can clearly see that the once spiritual SELF is no longer there.

What is the experience of identifying with your physical form? You think your thinking mind is you. Your memories and emotional attachments control your reality. Your Ego runs the show...

Because of this, most humans live in pain. At the level of thought you experience judgement. At the level of emotion you experience negativity. Together these color your present with pain. The intensity of your pain is directly associated with your resistance to actual reality. To avoid this pain you look to the future. You want to deny the present and escape from it.

This strategy is most apparent in romantic relationships. Resentment, self-pity, jealousy, depression, victimization, irritation, annoyance and anger are all forms of pain. As long as you are identified with your physical form, your mind, this pain is inevitable. We seek "highs" to escape it, alcohol, drugs, sex, extreme sports, and especially romantic love. The pleasure associated with these escapes become addicitions. However the high experienced through an addiction always turns to a low eventually.

Romantic love has no cultural negativity associated with it. Everyone wants it, in fact most people can't enjoy life if they don't have it. They seek it ceaselessly like they are dying for the thirst of it. However, if they are living an unconscious existence, identified with the physical self, they are bringing their pain and their need to escape the present with them into the relationship. For a time the other person "fulfills all of their desires." In actuality the other person is simply distracting them from their pain. This is when the couple is "in love."

Eventually the other person can no longer live up to your expectations and you begin to experience your pain again. This is when you say your beloved "has really changed." You can't accept that you are simply back in your pain, so your Ego needs to find fault outside of you. Since the person that was providing you with a distraction from your pain is now failing to do so, you experience hostility to them. You attact them emotionally, passively and/or aggressively. You withold affection. You withold encouragement. You blame them, belittle them, berate them. Sometimes this escalates to physical violence...

What to do? You must BEcome Conscious. You must BEgin to shed identities with your physical form. Meditation is the best way to get there, but BEgin with BEcoming the observer of yourself. Instead of reacting immediately to something that happens, try to find the gap between perception and reaction. Watch yourself reacting. Give yourself a little space around it. You may not be able initially to prevent a reaction, but the space will provide you with a knowing that you are having one. Simply the knowing is enough to dissolve it at least partially. Simply seeing yourself attached to the outcome, will be enough to lessen your pain and eventually, with enough practice, you may BE able to let it go entirely...

Today, BEgin to watch yourself as if you were a third person, because that is actually what you are unconsciously doing through your identification. Observe yourself reacting. Practice this. Notice even when something happens and catches you jumping right in before you can stop. Observe yourself in all of your interactions. Leave a "space for grace" around your reactions. Simply the knowing will dissolve your attachments...

Duffy

If you don't know here...

If you don't know here, how can you possibly know there?

You can't have light without dark, and you can't have dark without light, a television artist used to repeat over and over. One day I realized he wasn't only talking about oil paintings. His mantra could be applied to many conditions, feelings and events. You can't understand Joy without sadness. Peace is known best to those that have experienced the ravages of war. Fresh air smells sweetest to those living in an overcrowded, polluted city. These are general concepts I agree, but the principle is the same down at the individual level. For instance, you only recognize your own vocabulary is deficient when you experience someone whose speech froths over with linguistic delights! You'd never know your mother's meatloaf was awful until you tasted some truly exquisite faire, and so it goes...

Taken to the next extreme, we have people who sadly rely on their prejudices to make comparisons. "Those people aren't poor, they have cell phones!" is a common refrain, completely ignoring the fact that those same people don't have health-care, or access to quality education... Poverty can't be imagined. It only "is" when actually experienced in relation to wealth. Prejudices, judgements, hatreds, idientities are all concepts that are applied in place of BEing. These are taught to be replacements for actual knowing.

In this vein, most people are trying to get somewhere else, without knowing where they are. They don't know where they are because they don't know who they are. They don't know who is experiencing "here." They are so distracted by their "to do" list, their identities and their personal story, that they have zero experience simply BEing. Since they don't know themselves, having never spent anytime BEing, they feel a constant unease, and try to ease it through the distractions and gratifications they constantly seek. They believe happiness is just around the corner in a better relationship, a better job, a better house, car, TV, etc. They are endlessly in search of "there."

The truth is there is no "there," only "here."

How do we BEgin to know "here?" The first step is to find a way to shut off the thinking mind. For most people, a continous cacophony of thoughts stream endlessly by. There is no recognizable gap between one and the next. Your thinking mind is screaming at you all day. Living in this state doesn't allow for any BEing, as all of your mind is used up thinking. Your thinking mind is a wonderful tool as a problem solver, but when the problem is solved, you must put it back in your tool box, and get on with BEing!

Have you ever experienced when you lost time while doing an activity, when you looked up and realized that an hour or so had gone by? That hour was spent BEing, flowing right along with the river of life, no seeking something else, no unease, as you were "here." You were experiencing mindfulness. Now, I understand you can't spend all day engaged in an activites that cause you to lose time, you have many responsibilities that need tending, BUT you can learn to bring that mindfulness to every minute of your day. Imagine how your focus would be improved if you weren't thinking of how much left you had on your "to do" list, while in a meeting, or during any other interaction?

Meditation is a proven way to mindfulness. There are many kinds of meditation, including prayer, chanting and affirmations. For most, simply find a quiet spot, sit upright with eyes closed, focus on your breathing, focus on how it feels to inhabit your body from the inside. When thoughts present themselves let them float by, notice them, but don't think about them, don't judge them. BEcome the observer, the watcher of yourself... BEcome aware there is a YOU behind your thoughts. This AWARENESS is the BEginning of mindfulness. After 15 minutes or so, open your eyes, and go about your day. Try to bring the awareness with you. For most people new to meditiation, the awareness will disappear with their first distraction. This is fine and normal. What is important is you experienced awareness and now you know it. Everytime you meditate, you will be able to keep that awareness a little longer. Soon it will BEgin to return to you whenever distractions end. You will BEgin to BEcome the watcher periodically throughout the day. Someday, if you keep practicing, most of your day will BE experienced from a state of aware mindfulness. Yes, when a problem arises, you will take your thinking mind out of the toolbox and put it to good use, but it won't be running the show, and the watcher will know to put it away when the task is completed...

Today, notice when you lose time, recognize how at ease you were during this time. BEgin to observe yourself going through your day. Watch when your thoughts are running out of control. Meditate. Learn to be "here." If you don't know here, how can you possibly know there really is no "there?"

Duffy

A flower lives among weeds without Ego...

A flower lives among weeds without Ego. It presents the opportunity for a brighter existence merely through its BEing...

Many who are walking the path to enlightenment falter from time to time. There are patches where it seems to be one step forward and two steps back. Obviously, faltering is an umbrella term that can be applied to a number of causes. In particular, I am referring to the frustration a traveler occasionally feels when faced with so many travelling the opposite way.

We all wander off the path now and again, but the focused traveler quickly realizes he/she has strayed, consults his/her compass and corrects. What troubles the focused pilgrim, is the number of people who have wandered off the path, who don't know how to read the compass, don't want assistance or are afraid to even examine the reality that they are lost. Their North Star is permanently obscured by clouds.

As one moves along the "Path," one's existence is more and more one surrounded by the glow of LOVE, JOY and PEACE. Life becomes so incredibly joyous and happy, that one wants to share this with everyone. A toddler will run to help an adult pick up something the adult has dropped. It is in our DNA to help, aid and assist each other. However, through a life time of Ego and cultural indoctrination many begin to see aid as something that should only be parcelled out to the deserving. Who is deserving? Those who your Ego JUDGES to be worthy, and those who benefit you, the individual, through your association. This association leads to separatism, which feeds the Ego. Association with the perceived "IN" group results in an Ego bath of superiority. The Ego relishes this and will increasingly think/say/do anything promoted by the group as long as it continues to be rewarded with membership. Eventually, things like lynchings, or the Irish potato famine, result when the "IN" group promotes distain and hatred so deep that death is not only possible, but deserved...

These kind of events and attitudes run completely counter to the experience of enlightenment. One does not have to reach enlightenment to feel this. Simply coming close often enough and/or by surrounding oneself with enlightened spirits, one can clearly see that not only are the attitudes of judgment, distain and hatred way off path, but all of the attitudes, of separatism and superiority are as well.

What is more frustrating than the lost people, the ones that don't even know the path exists, are the ones who know it does, who are familiar with it, but who say, "That's just the way things are," or "The problem is too big for me to do anything about," or "You have to go along to get along," and in their weakness do go along...

In "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle, the concept of flowers being the first examples of enlightened BEings emerges. At one time there were no flowers in the plant world. One day the first flower appeared, and showed all of the others what was possible... Slowly others followed the example and now many many plants live in grace as flowers. Among people there were first flowers, too. Buddha, Lao Tzu, Lord Krishna, Jesus and Muhammad were some. Later examples are Gandhi, Martin Luther King and John F. Kennedy. Many of these "flowers" were murdered for their teachings. The weeds couldn't stand for their shining example. Flowering, as a way of life, continues to grow today, but many weeds are determined to hang on to their old ways, ways where they are rewarded through judgment, distain and hatred...

In a conversation with my daughter the other day, I was fretful. I had temporarily wandered off path. I was so distracted by the intransigent obdurance of the weeds, that I became disoriented, and told her I was having a difficult time finding the path again. She said, "I can understand your frustration, but imagine what it must be like for the Dalai Lama? He is the ultimate flower and everyone else must seem like a weed by comparison!" She continued, "The way I see it, you can revert, you can let your own Ego ruin your experience because you can't exact change at the speed you would like, or you can accept the ultimate challenge for a spiritual teacher, to learn to live among the weeds, helping and teaching when the opportunities present themselves, and allowing and accepting that the river is flowing where it should, when they don't."

Smart girl. Who is the teacher here?

Today, recognize when you are off path. Have the courage to make a difference. YOU may be the only person in the room who has a compass, so don't be afraid to lead others to the path, even if only by your example. Notice your Ego boost when you denigrate an "OUT" group and how you feel superior. Simply your acknowledgment of this will lead to a change of heart. Finally, accept that your example is the only true way to teach. A flower lives among weeds without Ego. It presents the opportunity for a brighter existence merely through its BEing...

Duffy

We all have perfect LOVE within us...

Peaceful, enlightened people have perfect love within them, as do we all. The only difference between them and US, is they have nothing else within them.

The other day I read a post on a well-known social media site that said, by removing the suffering of others, we take away their opportunity to grow... What kind of crap is that! It is the kind of crap that pseudo-intellectuals buy into. The real intellectuals behind this kind of reasoning are motivated by ideology, an ideology that promotes greed and selfishness. Manipulating people into believing that by helping they are somehow harming, allows the "pseudos" to feel good about their own selfishness. It gives them an "out."

If you remove a child from an abusive situation, are you taking away their opportunity to grow? If you provide food assistance to the hungry, are you taking away their opportunity to grow? No, you are LOVING them in the way that God does.

I grew up in a working class household. We rarely had money for stylish clothes, the latest stuff or fancy cars. We bought the practical, stripped down models, whether it was cars, clothes, shoes or entertainment. We got the encyclopedias that were offered through a grocery store promotion... We weren't "under-privileged," however we were never members of a Country Club. The Country Club kids grew up at the "Club," and so it feels completely natural for them to be among the rich, powerful and influential. That is their life experience, to be accepted. They have absorbed all of the little nuances of that lifestyle, along with all the confidence necessary to succeed at that level. They couldn't imagine and wouldn't settle for anything less! I, however, after college and a life full of travel, knowledge and other experiences, still don't feel quite comfortable in the "Country Club" environment. There are subtleties that I missed growing up. This is similar to growing up speaking a foreign language. Learning later in life to speak English, or whatever the language in your new country (environment), almost always results in speaking with an accent. That's how it is for me. I am successful, but I still have an "accent" showing I wasn't born to wealth...

Now, imagine for a moment that you grew up in an inner city ghetto where you never knew ANYONE who had a job. Nobody in your own family ever experienced more than a minimum wage, day laborer type existence. Nobody went to college, most never finished high school. Imagine you never saw anybody read, or exhibit any appreciation for knowledge or learning. Imagine that the only way you ever saw anyone succeed was through selling drugs, pimping, or the rare opportunity offered by professional sports. Imagine further that your family never had enough to eat, often had to choose between medicine and food, or medicine and rent, or rent and food. Imagine nobody you knew owned a car... Now imagine you are walking into a place of business to get a job. You've never seen anyone fill in a job aplication, never mind done it yourself. Imagine you have never heard anyone speak in a professional voice. Imagine you don't read very well, since you have had to skip school often to watch your younger siblings, when your one parent found a day's pay somewhere, or your grandmother was sick and needed help. Since you have never seen anyone go to an interview wearing a shirt and tie, nice slacks and shined shoes, how would you know to do so?

Can someone tell me please how removing this kind of suffering is taking the opportunity to grow away from an individual, when the experience of growth, and even the awareness of growth, is a mystery? How in God's name can giving to a person in these circumstances be taking away their opportunity to grow?

BUT, that's exactly what the ideologues, administering this kind of tripe would have you believe. For they do not want to treat ALL as God's children, that would mean sharing. They would have you believe you are superior to those who don't succeed. "If you don't succeed in America, it's your own fault!" What lies... Did Jesus divvy up the loaves and fishes according to some ideologically based value system? No. He gave equally to all. He NEVER even have considered, that removing someone's suffering was taking away their opportunity to grow.

Today, reject the ideology that provides you with caveats to giving LOVE. Don't be manipulated. Don't hold others in judgment. Peaceful, enlightened people have perfect love within them, as do we all. The only difference between them and US, is they have nothing else within them.

Duffy

Anger is a facade of power...

Anger is a facade of power. It is an attempt to feel powerful by the powerless...

What is anger? To begin with, Anger is one of the negative levels of Consciousness. When you experience Anger, you are dipping into the negative, and lowering your level of Consciousness, at least temporarily. If you happen to have been at a lower level, Shame, Guilt, Apathy, etc., then it indicates a move towards the positive, but still falls well short of the positive levels. It lies above Desire (Craving) and below Pride.

As one moves out of the lower levels and begins to overcome FEAR, one begins to want. Wanting (Desire, craving) leads to frustration, and frustration leads to Anger. Anger can be sometimes be used to springboard whole populations of people upward. Frustration with social injustice has led to great movements toward freedom. Most often however, Anger leads to resentment and hatred. Revenge often follows.

The person who exists in Apathy, experiences life from a hopeless, "What's the use in trying?" perspective. The Angry person is not experiencing this. The Angry person is not living in hopelessness, but he/she has allowed their hope to focus on wanting. Exaggerating the importance of their unsatisfied desires turns into frustration. Their Anger from this oftentimes becomes a way of life. They develop a code of conduct, annoyance, irritability, temper, cynicism, etc. Their Anger prevents them from moving to the next higher level, Pride, because their concept of self is externally generated. Their unsatisfied outward life prevents them from feeling Pride. For an in debth look at the levels of Consciousness, I suggest, "Power Vs. Force," by Dr. David R. Hawkins.

We all know angry people. Of the four classic control dramas ("The Celestine Prophecies," by James Redfield), is that of the "Intimidator," which is the preferred choice of Angry people. The intimidator towers overs you, whether literally of figuratively, and intimidates you into submission. Your acquiesence to them sucks energy out of you and into them. It gives them a sense of power, of control, albeit a false one. They compensate for their lack of control over their frustrations by attempting to exercise their control (imagined) over you. They beat their kids, abuse their wives and terrorize anyone and anything weaker than they.

Anger is selfish, self-centered and truly infantile behavior.

Today, notice yourself experiencing annoyance, irritation and Anger, and realize that your frustrations reflect your unrealized cravings. Recognize that no emotional eruption, regardless of magnitude, will ever result in you successfully pushing the river. Anger is a facade of power. It is an attempt to feel powerful by the powerless...

Duffy